Review by Michelle Ann
In the episode ‘Preggers’, it seems there are lots of secrets and one truth exposed. Kurt is getting down in his room with Brit and Tina to the song “Single Ladies.” He is working his fierce moves in his unitard and sequined gloves and vest. His dad comes down to interrupt the proceedings. He want to know what is going on. The girls jump to his defense and say he is the kicker on the football team and Kurt adds that they are helping him with his conditioning. Dad talks about his “athletic” prowess and asks if one of these fine ladies is dating his son. Kurt grabs Tina and explains they are dating, but not exclusively. His dad seems to buy the story and wants Kurt to give him a ticket to the first game. And we are off…
Will is helping Terri with Lamaze. Kendra, Terri’s sister, is coaching and brings us the truth about child birth: “Giving birth is not like how it is in the movies. It is bloody and beastier and you get poop all over your cowboy boots.” She goes on to berate everything about poor Will and then offers to instruct him on how to massage Terri’s belly to relieve gas. Terri freaks out over this, fear of Will bruising the baby, and sends Will off to make a BLT. Kendra requests a BLT as well, hold the L and the T. Terri then explains to her sister that she has a secret. Kendra asks if the child is black (I had to laugh, since Jessilyn’s character on Nip/Tuck ended up with a black baby on accident, long story, so thanks to Ryan for the little in joke). Terri explains that there’s no baby, and that Will is close to leaving and that the baby is the only thing keeping him here. Kendra says “Dishonestly is food to the marriage and without it the marriage will die. Kendra’s solution is to find a baby for her sister. (We know this has to come apart at some point, she can not fake it for the next five or six months)
Will walks in to the staff lounge for lunch and he joins the love birds-Emma and Ken. Emma tells us she is a local news junkie and a very perceptive Ken pipes in with the information that the reason why she loves the local news so much is that disasters both fascinate and repulse her at the same time, and she likes to watch them from the safety of her own little condo. Emma looks a little surprised at the perceptiveness of her boyfriend. (Who I am kinda digging with her now) She goes on to let us know that our favorite cheer-leading coach has a segment on the local news called Sue’s corner. Sue’s advice for the day is that “caning works” and that to the naysayers who say it is illegal or immoral, Sue’s response: “Yes, we cane.”
Will is a little shocked that Sue has a segment on the local news. Sue enters stage left with a box of donuts holes to explain that she is more than just the cheer coach, she is a celebrity in these parts and her star is going to rise even higher. She asks Ken to pull out her chair, since her hand is tired from signing autographs down at the local “Doughnut Hole”. She brought extras since she is such a generous person. She fills everyone in on the fact that the broadcast she is on is the #1 in the area with the 18-49 crowd. Emma says “WOW” and Sue calls her “Alma” again. She is destined to not be stuck in high school struggling with a mental illness, or 40, single and coaching the worst coach in the history of the state, or forced to get perms weekly. Sue has to leave to do a satellite interview. Exit stage left.
Will hands out music to all of the Glee kids and Rachel again objects since Tina has the lead and Rachel should have the lead since she has related to West Side Story since she was one. Will explains that they need to rotate. Mercedes is upset that she is a Jet. Rachel throws a fit and leaves. Artie remarks that she every time she storms out it gets less dramatic. Mr. Shu shakes it off and tells Tina she has the lead.
Kurt runs up to ask Finn a question. Finn tells Kurt that he already has a date to the Prom. Kurt blushes slightly, explains that he is not gay, and tells Finn that he wants to try out for the football team. Cut to the football team pretty much failing at the whole practice thing. Finn tells Kurt to relax and even if the helmet messes with his hair he still needs to wear it. Kurt thanks Finn and Finn reveals his selfish reason to help: the more crossover between Glee and football, the better his life will be-or at least easier. Kurt goes to get his music so he can get limber and be ready to kick. Finn tries to stop him, what with the whole team mocking him for Glee, but Kurt insists explaining that “My body is like a rum chocolate souffle, if I don’t warm it up right, it doesn’t rise.” Puck, in his jealous way, asks Finn if him and Kurt are an item now.
Ken calls the team over and they are in the middle of a 6 game losing streak that year and the kicker, he has missed 12 attempts. The kicker gets demoted to “Hydration specialist” , Ken pleas, that the next person who can get the ball through the uprights can be kicker. On cue Kurt shows up and declares he is auditioning for the role of kicker. With a few chuckles, we cut to the dramatic try out, complete with the song ‘Single ladies’ and Kurt’s choreography. But after all that he is successful in getting it through the uprights. Ken is overjoyed and as long as Kurt thinks he can do that “with 10 hungry gorillas bearing down wanting a taste of his sweet virgin blood” he has the job. Sounds like fun to Kurt, as long as he can use his music. Ken is cool with that and even offers that Kurt can wear a tutu. Puck is less than thrilled.
Sue is working on autographs and low and behold who walks in… Penis Head (well that was his nickname when he was on Alias). Now of course he is the dick of an angel Zachariah on Supernatural. Of course I am talking about the awesome Kurt Fuller. He is apparently the station manager and the dad of one of the Cheerios. He has come to deliver her mail. Apparently she has some hate mail for her pro-littering stance. She pays taxes so that the trash-men can pick up litter and stay employed while still buying tacos for their families. He also has a concern, since his daughter attends school there and has heard that a lot of the top cheerleaders are defecting to show choir. He is concerned how they are going with win nationals, while losing the talent. He needs her to win nationals. And with that he leaves and Sue is concerned.
Quinn is crying. Finn confronts her about it and she reveals that she is knocked up. Finn is freaking out a little. He is shocked that is could be his, since they have never had sex. But as Quinn goes on to explain, there was the time in the hot-tub, and he did not get to the mailman quick enough, and sperm loves the hot water so they just swam up and viola. (Poor Finn, so sweet and adorable and as smart as a box of rocks). The question then is .. who is the father. She is determined to keep the child and she is all sad that she is stuck in the small town when she had hopes of getting out.
Oh Sandy. We open on a massive doll collection and Sandy is explaining, while dressed in a short red silk robe, that he has been collecting since 1961. Sue is a little freaked out by the whole doll collection and frankly I think by Sandy in general. She makes the observation, “The only thing missing from this place is a couple dozen bodies limed and rotting under the floorboards.” Sandy is too busy with the tea to hear her. Sandy is happy to have some Sandy time, and then he starts to discuss his very busy schedule including bridge and cat rescue. Sue, not one to dilly dally, tells him to cut the crap and get real. Sandy admits through his tears that he is living in a “cocoon of horror” She has an offer for him. Come back to school as director of the arts, and he can destroy Glee and help out the Cheerios. He is not sure, he did not leave on good terms with Figgins.
Sue has that all figured out and we cut to her showing a You-Tube vid of a flying exercise video that Figgins did that is slightly embarrassing. Sandy is now on board. Sue wants to take down Glee. So, they decide to steal Rachel with 4 words: Liza Minnelli, Celine Dion. We cut to Rachel singing a beautiful rendition of ‘What do you Say’, and she gets the lead in Cabaret. Will is furious. He accuses Sue of being out to get him. Sue points out that if she was out to get him he would be pickling in a mason jar on a shelf in her office. Sandy says he is here to help. Will is not buying this. He goes to talk to Rachel, who is stretching out at a ballet bar. Rachel seems this only as an opportunity to showcase her talents. Will does not believe her. She fires back that he quit to form the Acafellas and Will explains that was not done out of spite. Rachel goes, not thinking that Mr. Shu likes her very much. He tells her he is a big fan and sometimes her only fan. Rachel does not care, she knows she is the best one in Glee. Mr. Shu acknowledges that she is good, but that she intimidates everyone else and they slack off because they know she will pick up the extra and carry them. He tells her that they can’t win regionals with one person who thinks they are a star, everyone needs to believe they are stars. Rachel is not quitting Glee, she is going to do both. But everyone is coming out of their shells and benefiting from Glee except her. She is still boyfriend less and gets her lipstick flushed down the toilet.
Sue goes on about how everyone can be a star with all the arts activities. Will asks Figgins “What does she have on you?” The meeting is abruptly ended. Sandy is willing to be an adversary with Will since Will is being so unreasonable.
Tina sings “Tonight”, Will directing her. She does a nice job, but is not happy with it and wants to give it to Rachel, since she is better at this then she is. Will tries to boost her confidence and she is not buying this. Finn is all upset and crying and wants to talk to Mr. Shu. They head out to a buffet, to discuss the whole pregnancy thing. Finn realizes that the kids who have kids when in High School are caged and he does not want that to happen to him. He needs a football scholarship. Will points out that he is not a football coach. Finn has been doing some reading (bless him) and was shocked to discover you can check out books for free from the library. He learned that Walter Payton was a great dancer, and Walter made the Bears take dance class the year they won the Superbowl and that is how they came up with the Super Bowl shuffle. He also remembers that Mr. Shu helped him and Puck with their tight hips for the Acafellas. He wants him to do that for the football team.
Will and Terri are getting ready for bed and he tells her about Finn and Quinn’s situation. This give Terri an idea, a terrible horrible idea. Will goes on and on about how horrible it would be to hide something like this and how sad it is that Quinn feels like she can’t tell anyone and keeping secrets take such a toll etc. Terry just wants the girl’s name. Will is even sadder that this happened to the president of the Celibacy club.
Puck is not pleased about the new turn of the team towards dancing. Finn explains that Kurt is the only one scoring on the field, Puck asks, “So, we are taking coaching advice from Lance Bass now?” Mr. Shu steps in and points out that part of football is performing and that if you can sing and dance in front of strangers, you can do anything. They head out to practice in the choir room. Mr. Shu says they need a better attitude. Puck asks coach to help them out and Ken reminds then that they lost any pride when they lost to the school of the deaf.
The boys are having issues, Kurt steps in to help them out. Ken can’t bear to watch anymore and he send them all to the showers. Puck asks Finn what is up. He accuses Finn of being in love with Kurt, and that causes Finn to give it up that Quinn is carrying his child. Puck knows better and confronts Quinn in the hall. He starts by calling her a MILF. Quinn blows him off. He wants to know who is the daddy, he thinks it is odd since she told him she was a virgin when they did it, and he knows she did not have sex with Finn, since Finn is his boy and would have told him if he had sex with anyone. Quinn fires back asking if he has a habit of sleeping with “his boy’s” girlfriends? Puck is not really happy with this and starts to make a scene. Quinn pulls him close and Puck makes his case, that he would take care of her and the baby, even if his dad is a deadbeat: he does not roll that way. Quinn reminds him that he was fired for peeing in the fry-o-later. Puck explains he has his pool cleaning business and is going someplace. She then goes for the low blow- “I had sex with you because you got me drunk on wine coolers and I was feeling fat that day.” Puck is not happy with this turn.
The rain is pouring down and little wet Quinn runs to the safety of her car, but waiting for her is Terri, prepared to unleash her terrible horrible idea. She wants to know how far along Quinn is, she figures five or six weeks, she knows that Quinn has not told her parents and why would she? The shiny red car is the one her dad bought her for the Chastity Ball. Quinn is a little upset about all this. Terri offers help and Quinn wants her out of the car. Terri then goes on to quiz Quinn on her prenatal care and foists prenatal pills on her, telling her to take them three times a day or the baby will be ugly. Quinn wants to know what Terri wants. The thunder crackles a little outside the car and we cut to commercial before we hear the terrible horrible idea.
Emma is cleaning her bleacher and Will takes a seat next to her. The crowd start the wave, showing their support. The weak PA tries to play the national anthem and Ken picks out his lucky whistle for the night. Finn tries to rally the team telling them how they have really come together in the last week. Puck interjects “Yeah, a gay team, a big gay team of dancing gays.” The team is worried about dancing on the field. And the game begins, as well as the taunts, “Hey QB, your momma’s so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs, give me some ketchup.” The game does not go well, but it is not a massacre. We watch the score board advance to 3rd quarter, 5 min 39 seconds left and the score is 6 to 0 (the other team ahead). Lo and behold Kurt’s dad has finally shown up, Kurt is thrilled, dad looks a little concerned. Finn is still getting tackled hard. Cut to 4th quarter, still 6 to 0 (honestly if they suck this bad, I am surprised the defense is doing so well), only 30 seconds to go. Finn waits till 1 second are on the clock and he calls time. It is time to dance. Puck is worried about being a joke the rest of his life and we get the last joke: “Hey left tackle, your mamma’s so fat her cereal bowl comes with its own life raft.” Puck has had it and fires back, “Hey ankle grabber, I had sex with your mom. No, seriously, I cleaned your pool and then had sex with her in your bed: nice star wars sheets.” He then turns to Finn, “Let’s do it captain” There is nothing more gleeful then watching the football players in complete uniform do the Beyonce Dance. It was awesome! The other team was confused. They hiked the ball and Finn threw it to I think Puck and a touchdown was made. Emma and Will hug in celebration then look at each other with a bit of longing. Kurt then steps up for the kick of his life. He does his only abbreviated version of the dance and kicks. *w00t* The kick is good and he is the hero of the team. Losing streak is over. Kurt’s dad is thrilled. Puck is a little jealous when he sees Finn walk up and kiss Quinn after the game.
Kurt is working on his nighttime skin care as an important part of his post game ritual, and his dad comes down to talk to him and is not quite sure what to say about that. He tells Kurt that he is proud of him and wishes his mom was alive to see the game. Kurt then asks his dad to stay and he has something to say. “I’m glad that you’re proud of me. But I don’t want to lie anymore. Being a part of Glee Club and football has really shown me that I can be anything. And what I am is… I’m gay. ” He dad replies: “I know, I’ve known since you were three and all you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels. I guess I’m not totally in love with the idea. If that’s who you are, there is nothing I can do about it, and I love you just as much. Okay?” and he hugs Kurt. “Thanks for telling me Kurt,” as he leaves he turns, “You’re sure, right?” Kurt smiles and says that he is and his dad walks up the stairs.
Quinn is at the school locker looking down. Finn pulls out an old skanky blanket that was his when he was a baby. It is all he has left from his dad. He use to cry without it, but he wants their baby to have it and wants to be a good father. Puck walks up and says lately he has been getting really sick in the morning, then questions Quinn’s weight. Finn comes to her rescue and Puck walks off.
Sue is back at Sue’s corner, and wants to tell her secret. But first, Will needs to introduce the 3 newest members of Glee. Three football players are joining now, (Puck, Mike and Noah). Sue’s voice over says she is not afraid to shake things up, as Will gives the lead for “Tonight” to Tina and Rachel storms off and quits Glee. Sue’s VO continues that she is tired of hearing people complain, about having diseases, she suggests “that people shake it up and bit and get out of the box, even if that box is where you are living.” Rachel runs to Sandy and says she is dedicated to the musical now. Sue goes on, “I often yell at homeless people, ‘Hey how’s that homelessness working out for you?’ Give not being homeless a try, would ya? You know something Ohio, it’s not easy to break out of your comfort zone, people will tear you down, tell you, you shouldn’t have bothered in the first place, Let me tell you something, there is not that much of difference between a stadium of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you. They’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you.”
Cut to Will in bed thinking while Terri sleeps soundly.
“Convince yourself they’re cheering for you. You do that, and someday they will.”
Last image, Quinn sadly standing by her locker.
So what were your highlights or favorite lines this week?